ADMITTEDLY, I CAN BE A BIT OF A JEALOUS GOAT. FOR THE LONGEST TIME I’VE BEEN A PART OF THE MECHANICAL KEYBOARD HOBBY FROM WITHIN THE CONFINES OF THE MEAGER PAYCHECKS THAT COME AS PART OF THE PACKAGE DEAL THAT IS RESEARCH LAB-BASED WORK. WATCHING KEYCULT, BONGO, AND TGR RAFFLES ENDLESSLY SCROLL BY KNOWING FULL WELL A MASSIVE WIN WOULD BE AN EVEN GREATER LOSS FOR MY BANK ACCOUNT AND FUTURE FINANCIAL STABILITY, I STAYED RELEGATED TO THE SIDELINES. BUT NOW I’M FREE! I’VE GOT A REAL, BIG BOY JOB AND THE FIRST SIZABLE PAYCHECK JUST CAME THROUGH LAST WEEK SO CLEARLY I NEED TO FIND SOME WAY TO CELEBRATE THE MONUMENTAL OCCASION. HOWEVER, RATHER THAN GO ALL OUT ON SOME FLIMSY MECHANICAL KEYBOARD OR RESIN THAT I ALMOST CERTAINLY WOULD LOSE SOMEWHERE IN MY VAST PILES OF SWITCHES, I CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I WOULD NEED A TRULY BIG KEYBOARD AND SWITCH TO GET IT ALL OUT OF MY SYSTEM AT ONCE. AND SO, I DID WHAT ANY CONTENT CREATOR WITH WONDERFUL SPONSORS AND PATREON DONORS HELPING FUND MY MONSTROUS PROJECT IDEAS WOULD DO:

**FIGURE 1:** I GUESS HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW MONUMENTOUS OF AN OCCASION IS TO ME.

IN ORDER TO SATISFY MY EXCESSIVE DESIRE TO GET THE MOST OUT OF MY MECHANICAL KEYBOARD AND SWITCH ADDICTION, I FIGURED BUYING THE MOST ASTRONOMICALLY LARGE BOARD I COULD FIND WOULD BE THE ONLY WAY TO GO ABOUT IT. DON’T LET THAT PREVIOUS CONVERSATION FOOL YOU, THOUGH, GLARSES WAS 1,000,000% ON BOARD WHEN I SENT HIM MY EXTRAVAGANT OFFER OVER AFTERWARDS. I SHOULD SAY, AS WELL, THAT THIS WASN’T (ENTIRELY) AN IMPULSIVE DECISION ON MY END EITHER. IN ORDER TO OFFSET MY MOUNTAINOUS INCOME THAT I PUSH DIRECTLY INTO BUYING SWITCHES, I’VE DECIDED TO WRITE OFF THIS KEYBOARD ENTIRELY AS A BUSINESS EXPENSE. AND SINCE I DON’T CURRENTLY REVIEW KEYBOARDS AND INSTEAD ONLY DO UNGODLY LONG, STUPENDOUS, AND OUTSIZED DISPLAYS OF VOCABULARY-BASED PEDANTISM AND SWITCH KNOWLEDGE, I’VE GOT TO FIND A WAY TO WORK THIS INTO A FULL-LENGTH REVIEW. HERE’S YOUR NOTICE, IRS, THIS NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCH REVIEW ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED THIS SIZEABLE KEYBOARD PURCHASE PURELY IN ORDER TO PULL OFF THE INTRODUCTION IN AN EYE-CATCHING WAY.

**FIGURE 2:** THAT'S RIGHT TAX MAN, I SAID BIG MONEY.

SWITCH BACKGROUND

OFTEN TIMES, THE ‘SWITCH BACKGROUND’ SECTION FOR MY REVIEWS FALLS INTO ONE OF TWO DISTINCT CATEGORIES: OVERLY DETAILED AND LENGTHY OR WAY TOO SHORT ON HISTORICAL DETAILS. UNFORTUNATELY, GIVEN THE NATURE OF MODERN MECHANICAL KEYBOARD SWITCHES TODAY, SWITCHES EITHER HAVE A TON OF BACKSTORY, DESIGN ITERATION, AND/OR MARKETING LEADING UP TO THEM THAT ALLOWS FOR WELL WRITTEN AND THOUGHT OUT CONTENT, OR ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THAT WHATSOEVER. I WOULD BE LYING IF I WERE TO SAY THAT I’VE NEVER REVIEWED A SWITCH AT LENGTH HERE ONLY A HANDFUL OF HOURS AFTER REMEMBERING WHAT THEY WERE CALLED AND WHO THAT VENDOR WAS IN CHINA WHO SENT THEM OVER TO ME TO CHECK OUT. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF THE TIME, THESE MYSTERIOUS-TO-THE-LAST-MINUTE SWITCHES I END UP GETTING HANDS ON ARE BRAND NEW RELEASES THAT WERE EITHER FRESHLY DEISGNED AND RELEASED NOT ONLY MONTHS PRIOR, OR HAD JUST FINALLY SHIPPED AFTER THEIR QQ-BASED GROUPBUY FULFILLMENT. I CAN SAY FOR A FACT THAT I’VE NEVER HAD A SWITCH SUCH AS THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOWS WHICH HAVE SIMULTANEOUSLY BEEN AROUND FOR SUCH A LONG STRETCH OF TIME AND HAVE SUCH COMPARATIVELY SMALL HISTORY.

FIRST INTRODUCED ONTO THE NOVELKEYS STOREFRONT IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS OF 2017, THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG SERIES SWITCHES WERE 64:1 SCALED VERSIONS OF THE DARK YELLOW, BURNT ORANGE, AND PALE BLUE SWITCHES THAT HAD BEEN STOCKED BY NOVELKEYS IN VARIOUS FORMS OVER THE PREVIOUS YEARS. OSTENSIBLY A GAG GIFT BASED ON THEIR OVERSIZED AND CLEARLY DISPLAY-DRIVEN NATURE, THESE GARGANTUAN SWITCHES ARE STILL INTERESTING TO THIS DAY AS THEY ARE ALSO ENTIRELY FUNCTIONAL AS NORMAL SWITCHES. WHEREAS TRADITIONAL GAG GIFTS FOR ANY HOBBY OR NICHE INTEREST TEND TO BE OVERSIZED, NONFUNCTIONAL FORMS OF ICONIC THINGS FROM THE SPECIFIC SUBJECT AREA, NOVELKEYS CHOSE TO PUSH FOR A FULLY FUNCTIONAL AND USABLE MECHANICAL KEYBOARD SWITCH IN A GAG-GIFT SIZE. RESULTINGLY, THESE GIGANTIC SWITCHES HAVE ACTAULLY SEEM SOME DEGREE OF USE OVER THE PAST 6 YEARS, SHOWING UP IN THE RARE OVERSIZED MACROPAD DESIGN, OR IN THE INSTANCE OF MY COMPLETELY REAL AND TOTALLY FINANCIALLY VIABLE PURCHASE ABOVE, ONE OF THE WORLD’S LARGEST KEYBOARD. WHILE IT IS UNCERTAIN IF THE NOVELKEYS TEAM HAD EVER CONSIDERED THAT SUCH FEATS WOULD BE UNDERTAKEN WITH THESE SWITCHES, I AM SURE THE OCASSIONAL HILARIOUS USE CASE FOR THESE MASSIVE SWITCHES PROVIDES ENOUGH ENTERTAINMENT TO KEEP THEM IN PRODUCTION PERPETUALLY.

**FIGURE 3:** MEET BIG OJ AND BIG MILK BY SPLIT KEYBOARD ADDICT BOMTARNES.

PRICED INITIALLY AT AROUND $20-25 PER SWITCH BACK IN 2017, TO THE BEST OF MY MEMORY, THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG SERIES OF SWITCHES HAVE REMAINED PERPETUALLY IN STOCK EVER SINCE AND HAVE SEEN A RECENT REDUCTION IN PRICE DOWN TO $18 PER SWITCH. WHILE FUNCTIONALLY AND AESTHETICALLY STILL VERY MUCH THE SAME IN 2023 AS THEY ARE IN 2017, THE PACKAGING AND ASSOCAITED FONT ON THE INCLUDED LARGE-SCALE KEYCAP FOR THE BIG SWITCHES CHANGED AT SOME POINT ALONG WITH NOVELKEYS’ SEVERAL REBRANDING ROUNDS OVER THE YEARS. INTERESTINGLY, AS WELL, IT IS WORTH NOTING THAT THESE SWITCHES REMAIN NOT ONLY AS THE LARGEST SWITCHES EVER CREATED, BUT ALSO ARE THE ONLY ONES ANYWHERE NEAR THEIR SIZE TO BE FUNCTIONAL. THE NEXT LARGEST FUNCTIONAL SWITCH SMALLER THAN THAT OF THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG SERIES BELONGS TO THAT OF THE GTMX RED, BLACK, AND BLUE SWITCHES WHICH CAN BE FOUND IN THE OVERSIZED REDDRAGON MECHANICAL KEYBOARDS THAT ARE A BIT OVER 2 FEET LONG IN LENGTH. FOR A SENSE OF SCALE, THESE GTMX BIG SWITCHES ARE ONLY APPROXIMATELY 8:1 OF A NORMAL MX SCALE, ON A GOOD DAY.

**FIGURE 4:** NEW (LEFT) AND OLD (RIGHT) NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCH PACKAGING.

**FIGURE 5:** SIZE COMPARISON BETWEEN THE TINY GTMX RED SWITCHES AND THE MASSIVE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG SWITCH.

BEYOND THIS INTERESTING HISTORICAL LANDMARKER IN SWITCHES AS WELL AS THEIR OCCASSIONAL USE CASE IN KEYBOARDS/MACROPADS THAT WERE CLEARLY DESIGNED WITH REAL PURPOSE AND NOT JUST FOR THE MEMES, THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG SWITCHES DON’T HAVE REALLY ALL THAT MUCH MORE TO THEIR HISTORY. THEY HAVE STOOD STEADFAST AS A FUN, QUIRKY KEYBOARD SWITCH PRODUCT AND UNIQUE MEETUP GIVEAWAY ITEM FOR NEARLY SIX YEARS NOW AND THEY ARE COMMENDABLE PURELY ON THAT FACT, ALONE.

BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCH PERFORMANCE

NOTE: DUE TO THE INCOMPREHENSIBLY LARGE SIZE OF THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG SWITCHES, I COULDN’T EVEN GET THE ONE USED IN THIS REVIEW TO FIT INTO FIELD OF VIEW OF THE CAMERA AND SO YOU WILL ONLY BE ABLE TO SEE BITS AND PIECES OF WHAT IS BEING TALKED ABOUT IN EACH SECTION.

APPEARANCE

AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL, THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES COME IN AN ENTIRELY CLEAR, POLYCARBONATE HOUSING WITH AN OVERSIZED YET NORMAL MX-STYLE STEM THAT FEATURES THE ‘SLIGHTLY DARKER THAN ARTISANAL MUSTARD’ YELLOW COLOR FEATURED IN OTHER DARK YELLOW SWITCHES PREVIOUSLY. ASIDE FROM THE RATHER OBVIOUS DETAIL THAT THIS SWITCH IS LARGE ENOUGH TO BE SPOTTED FROM THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION, THERE IS VERY LITTLE IN THE WAY OF BLATANTLY DEFINING CHARACTERISTICS AS IT FEATURES A FAIRLY STANDARD SWATHE OF KAILH DETAILS SUCH AS THE BIFURCATED LED SLOT, WINGLATCH HOUSING CONSTRUCTION, AND THEIR NAMED FEATURE DIRECTLY ACROSS THE NAMEPLATE. FLIPPING AROUND THE MICROSCOPE THIS TIME IN ORDER TO ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO SEE THE DETAILS, LETS GO AHEAD AND TAKE A LOOK AT THE FINER CONSTRUCTION POINTS FOR THESE SWITCHES.

**FIGURE 6:** NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCH AND ITS COMPONENTS.

THE CLEAR, POLYCARBONATE TOP HOUSINGS OF THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES COME IN WINGLATCH STYLE HOUSINGS WITH A RATHER NARROW BUT SEEMINGLY FUNCTIONAL LED SLOT AND A GRACIOUSLY SIZED CENTER CIRCLE DEPRESSION. ASIDE FROM THESE TWO EXTERNAL DETAILS, THE ONLY OTHER FEATURE PARTICULARLY OF NOTE IS THAT OF THE MASSIVE NAMEPLATE. PRESSED IN AN UPSIDE DOWN, SLIGHTLY INDENTED FASHION, THE BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES FEATURE A FULL ‘KAILH X NOVELKEYS’ NAMEPLATE, MUCH LIKE THAT OF THE BURNT ORANGE AND PALE BLUE VARIANTS. IT’S ALSO WORTH NOTING, AS WELL, THAT EVEN THOUGH THE BOX DESIGN HAS CHANGED FOR THESE SWITCHES OVER THE YEARS, THE NAMEPLATE AND FONT USED ON SAID NAMEPLATES HAS REMAINED CONSISTENT ON THE ACTUAL SWITCHES. INTERNALLY, THE TOP HOUSINGS FEATURE VERY LITTLE ELSE TO NOTE AS THEY HAVE NO DISTINCTIVE MOLD MARKINGS WHICH COULD HELP DISTINGUISH THEIR PERFORMANCE ON A GOOD VERSUS BAD BATCH COMPARISON. INTERESTINGLY, THERE IS A PAIR OF MOLD EJECTOR MARKINGS LOCATED ON THE INTERIOR TOP SIDE OF THE SLIDER RAIL GUIDES WHERE THE SWITCH, ITSELF, TOPS OUT. BEING AN UNCOMMON LOCATION FOR THESE TO BE PRESENT, I HAVE TO MAKE AN ASSUMPTION ITS PURELY DUE TO THE SIZE OF THE SWITCH HOUSING AND INTENSIVE LABOR PRACTICES REQUIRED TO CARVE THEM OUT OF THE SIDES OF MOUNTAINS. REMEMBER KIDS, WITH GREAT SIZE COMES GREAT MANUFACTURING PAINS.

**FIGURE 7:** NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW LONG NAMEPLATE AND MOLD EJECTOR CIRCLES AT THE POINT OF TOPPING OUT FOR THE STEM.

MUCH LIKE THE TOP HOUSINGS, THE STEMS AND SPRINGS OF THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES ARE ALSO MASSIVELY SCALED UP VERSIONS OF THEIR MUCH MORE TRACTABLE, NORMAL COUNTERPARTS. THE STEMS, THEMSELVES, FEATURE A PAIR OF COMMON MODERN FEATURES INCLUDING TAPERED SLIDER RAILS AND A TIERED CENTER POLE, THOUGH THE SIMILARITIES END JUST ABOUT THERE. IN PLACE OF MORE COMMON DESIGN ELEMENTS, A BARRAGE OF UNIQUE SWITCH STEM FEATURES ARE PRESENT INCLUDING A HOLLOW CENTER POLE, HOLLOW KEYCAP STEM MOUNT, EXTREMELY LARGE BACKPLATE DESIGN FEATURING NO MOLD EJECTOR CIRCLES, AND A GRACIOUS AMOUNT OF WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS ‘VASELINE JELLY-LIKE’ LUBRICANT ON THE STEM LEGS TO PREVENT LEAF SCRATCH. AS WELL, IN A NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN FASHION ONLY THE STEMS OF THE SWITCHES (AND NOT THE TOP HOUSINGS) FEATURE A MOLD MARKING, LOCATED ON THE TOP SIDE OF THE STEM IN THE FORM OF A SINGLE CAPITAL LETTER IN A SMALL, DEPRESSED SQUARE. UNFORTUNATELY, THERE’S NOT MUCH I COULD SAY IN THE WAY OF THE SPRINGS OF THESE SWITCHES AS I NEARLY DIED UPON OPENING THIS SWITCH. THE CAR-SHOCK LIKE SPRING LITERALLY FLEW ACROSS THE ROOM AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE WALL WHERE IT NOW WILL RESIDE PERMANENTLY UNTIL IT TAKES MY SECURITY DEPOSIT AWAY FROM ME. GOD SAVE WHATEVER POOR MAINTENANCE WORKER HAS TO DEAL WITH THAT.

**FIGURE 8:** THICK FACTORY LUBING ON THE STEM LEGS OF THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCH.

**FIGURE 9:** MOLD MARKING AND HOLLOWED KEYCAP STEM MOUNT ON NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW STEM.

FINALLY ARRIVING AT THE BOTTOM HOUSING, THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES FEATURE ALL THE NORMAL FANFARE AND DETAILS OF A SWITCH EXCEPT FOR THEIR SIZE AS WELL AS THEIR GENERAL LOCATIONS. PEERING INTERNALLY, WE SEE THE LEAVES, A SOUTH-SIDE SPRING COLLAR, AND UN-PADDED BOTTOMING OUT REGIONS – ALL DETAILS WHICH WERE RATHER COMMON FOR THE TIME IN WHICH THESE SWITCHES WERE INITIALLY RELEASED. ALSO, IT’S NEAT TO NOTE THAT THERE IS A CUT OUT IN THE FRONT, RIGHT HAND SIDE OF THE BOTTOM HOUSING INTERIOR WHICH SUPPORTS THE USAGE OF A VERY LARGE CLICKBAR GIVEN THE RIGHT DESIGN. OSTENSIBLY LEFT IN THE LINEAR SWITCHES IN ORDER TO CUT DOWN ON THE GDP-SIZED MANUFACTURING COSTS OF THESE BEHEMOTHS, THIS FEATURE WAS ONLY USED IN THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG PALE BLUE SWITCHES. AS WELL, WHEN LOOKING INTERNALLY THE ONLY OTHER REAL DETAIL OF NOTE IS PRESENT IN THE SMALL, CATTYWAMPUS, SINGLE NUMBER MOLD MARKING LOCATED ON THE INTERIOR, RIGHT HAND SIDE OF THE BOTTOM HOUSING. WHILE I AM SURE THERE IS A BETTER WAY THAT I COULD HAVE GONE ABOUT DESCRIBING THIS DETAIL, I FIGURED THERE WAS NO BETTER PLACE TO WORK IN ‘CATTYWAMPUS’ INTO THE HISTORY OF MY REVIEWS THAN IN ONE SUCH AS THIS.

**FIGURE 10:** NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW BOTTOM HOUSING INTERIOR SHOWING MASSIVE LEAVES WITH FACTORY LUBRICANT.

**FIGURE 11:** NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW BOTTOM HOUSING EXTERIOR SHOWING SINGLE NUMBER, ODDLY ANGLED MOLD MARKING STAMPED ON THE INSIDE OF THE SWITCH.

PUSH FEEL

FOR THE SHEER SURFACE AREA OF STEM THAT DOESN’T COME FACTORY LUBRICATED, THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES ARE SURPRISINGLY SMOOTH AND WITH VERY LITTLE SCRATCH PRESENT ANYWHERE THROUGHOUT THEIR STROKE. HOWEVER, IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THE GENERAL LINEAR NATURE OF THE SWITCH IS JUST ABOUT THE ONLY THING WHICH TRANSLATED FROM NORMAL SCALE UP TO THE GIGANTIC ONE HERE. BEING MADE OF LARGE POLYCARBONATE, THE HOUSING COLLISIONS BOTH AT TOP AND BOTTOMING OUT ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT THIN EVEN THOUGH THEY DO RETAIN A TAD BIT OF THAT THIN FEELING COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH POLYCARBONATE. AS WELL, THERE IS SOME AMOUNT OF STEM/LEAF INTERACTION THAT SHOWS UP AS WHAT I WOULD IMAGINE IS PING? IS THIS HOW NORMAL LEAF PING ACTUALLY WORKS OR IS EVERYTHING JUST SO MASSIVE THAT THE LEAVES NATURALLY HAVE SOME GIVE IN THE HOUSINGS? AT THIS POINT, I’M NOT ENTIRELY SURE.

AN ADDITIONAL CONSIDERATION TO BE PAID TOWARDS THE PUSH FEELING OF THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES IS JUST HOW HEAVY THEY ARE RELATIVE TO NORMAL SWITCHES AS WELL. ACCORDING TO THE SPECIFICATIONS LISTED ON NOVELKEYS’ WEBSITE AS WELL AS THE SPEC SHEET PROVIDED BY KAILH, THESE SWITCHES HAVE A NEARLY 14 MM LONG TRAVEL DISTANCE AND BOTTOM OUT AT 400 GRAMS OF FORCE. AS CAN BE SEEN BELOW IN FIGURE 12, WHILE THE FORCE CURVE LOOKS MORE OR LESS LIKE A STANDARD LINEAR IN PERFORMANCE, THE AXES ARE WAY BEYOND THE LIMITATIONS OF MY DELICATE FORCE CURVE MACHINE ARE CAPABLE OF TESTING. KNOWING FULL WELL THAT I CAN’T AFFORD TO REPLACE IT AFTER SENDING GLARSES ALL OF THE MONEY I WAS PHYSICALLY CAPABLE OF LOANING OUT, I OPTED TO NOT USE MY FORCE CURVE MACHINE FOR THIS REVIEW AND WILL INSTEAD BE DRAWING FORCE CURVES FROM HERE ON OUT. AFTER ALL, THAT’S BASICALLY WHAT KAILH AND ALL OF THESE MANUFACTURERS DO FOR THEIR SPECIFICATION SHEETS, NO?

**FIGURE 12:** FORCE CURVE FOR NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCH AS SHOWN ON KAILH'S SPEC SHEET.

SOUND

THE SOUND OF THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCH IS ONE THAT I COULD ONLY DESCRIBE AS INCREDIBLE CHAOS. ASIDE FROM THE STEM/LEAF PING WHICH IS PRESENT AS MUCH IN SOUND AS IT IS IN THE ACTUAL IN-HAND FEELING OF THE SWITCH, THE HOUSING COLLISIONS AND NEARLY ANYTHING THAT MAKES ANY SORT OF MOVEMENT IN THIS SWITCH IS OBSCENELY LOUD. THE SPRING IS LOUD, THE BOTTOMING OUT IS LOUD, THE LEAVES ARE LOUD, AND EVEN THE TOPPING OUT IS LOUD. TO BE ENTIRELY HONEST, I THINK THAT THIS MUST HAVE BEEN A DESIGN MISTAKE ON THE PART OF NOVELKEYS AND KAILH, AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT THIS IS UNORTHODOX FOR A LINEAR SWITCH TO SOUND THIS LOUD, BUT BECAUSE IT IS ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY GIVEN THE SIZE OF THE SWITCH. GENERALLY IN NATURE, THE LARGER AN ANIMAL IS THE LESS THEY NEED TO USE FEATURES SUCH AS BRIGHT COLORS, LOUD SOUNDS, ETC. IN ORDER TO SCARE POTENTIAL PREDATORS WHICH MAY ATTEMPT TO CONSUME THEM. GIVEN THAT THIS SWITCH STILL REMAINS AS THE LARGEST FUNCTIONAL SWITCH TO DATE AND ONLY REALLY CARRIES THE NORMAL CHOKING HAZARD WARNING FOR ANIMALS THE SIZE OF HIPPOPOTAMUSES THAT MOST SWITCHES DO FOR NORMAL CHILDREN, I’M NOT SURE WHAT IT IS TRYING TO SCARE OFF WITH ALL OF THAT NOISE. REGARDLESS OF THIS DEFIANCE FOR NATURAL ORDER, I AM THOROUGHLY ENJOYING JUST HOW MUCH THE SHEER VOLUME OF THIS SWITCH PISSES OFF BOTH MY UPSTAIRS NEIGHBORS AND THE NEIGHBORS ABOVE THEM AS WELL.

WOBBLE

WHILE THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN BEAT DAMN NEAR TO DEATH WITH MEMES, I DO WANT TO POINT OUT THAT THIS SWITCH IS INCREDIBLY UNUSABLE WITH RESPECT TO ITS WOBBLE NOT JUST ONCE, BUT TWICE OVER. FIRSTLY, THE STEM HAS VIRTUALLY NO WOBBLE WHATSOEVER – SOMETHING WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN REVOLUTIONARY FOR THE TIME IN WHICH IT WAS RELEASED IN 2017. SECONDLY, ANOTHER COMPLETELY UNSEEN FEATURE IN 2017 WERE KAILH WINGLATCH HOUSINGS THAT HAVE SOME AMOUNT OF GIVE TO THEM. THAT’S RIGHT, THIS THING IS SO BIG THAT THE GRAVITATIONAL PULL OF THE STEM MOVING THROUGH THE DOWNSTROKE IS LITERALLY CAUSING THE SPACE-TIME FABRIC AROUND THE HOUSING CONNECTION TO BEND, LEADING TO IT TO ROCK BACK AND FORTH EVER SO SLIGHTLY IN THE N/S DIRECTION. I CAN’T ACTUALLY THINK OF ANY NON-QUANTUM MECHANICS-RELATED RATIONALE AS FOR HOW THIS IS EVEN POSSIBLE.

MEASUREMENTS

IF YOU’RE INTO THIS LEVEL OF DETAIL ABOUT YOUR SWITCHES, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I HAVE A SWITCH MEASUREMENT SHEET THAT LOGS ALL OF THIS DATA, AS WELL AS MANY OTHER COOL FEATURES WHICH CAN BE FOUND UNDER THE ‘ARCHIVE’ TAB AT THE TOP OF THIS PAGE OR BY CLICKING ON THE CARD ABOVE. KNOWN AS THE ‘MEASUREMENT SHEET’, THIS SHEET TYPICALLY GETS UPDATED WEEKLY AND AIMS TO TAKE PHYSICAL MEASUREMENTS OF VARIOUS SWITCH COMPONENTS TO COMPARE MOLD DESIGNS ON A BRAND-BY-BRAND BASIS AS WELL AS PROVIDE A ROUGH FRANKENSWITCHING ESTIMATION SHEET FOR COMBINING VARIOUS STEMS AND TOP HOUSINGS.

BREAK IN

BREAK IN NOTES

WHAT NOTES DO YOU EVEN NEED ON THIS ONE? LOOK AT WHAT THIS GIGANTIC SWITCH DID TO MY POOR BREAK IN MACHINE. I’D LIKE TO THINK IT TRIED VALIANTLY, BUT AFTER HAVING SET THE INSTRUMENT UP AND TURNING AROUND IT EXPLODED ON ME, GIVING ME AN ESTIMATE OF AROUND 4 SECONDS, AT ABSOLUTE MAX, THAT THIS SWITCH WAS BROKEN IN. BASED ON A RATE OF 17,000 ACTUATIONS PER HOUR, THIS MEANS THAT THIS SWITCH PROBABLY MADE IT A WHOLE 15 CYCLES PAST ITS STOCK FORM. TO BE ENTIRELY HONEST, I BET THE NOVELKEYS EMPLOYEES PRESS THESE MORE THAN 15 TIMES FOR FUN BEFORE THEY EVER ACTUALLY LEAVE THE FACILITY SO I’M JUST GOING TO CALL THIS A MONSTROUS FAILURE. WE’LL FOREVER HAVE TO LIVE ON COLLECTIVELY KNOWING THAT A BIG SWITCH HAS NEVER BEEN ACTUATED OVER 10,000 TIMES AND THAT ABSOLUTELY NOBODY IS STILL READING AT THIS POINT IN THIS REVIEW.

COMPARISON NOTES TO OTHER NOTABLE LINEAR SWITCHES

NOTE – THESE ARE NOT AIMED AT BEING COMPREHENSIVE COMPARISONS BETWEEN ALL FACTORS OF THESE SWITCHES AS THIS WOULD SIMPLY BE TOO LONG FOR THIS WRITEUP. THESE ARE LITTLE NOTES OF INTEREST I GENERATED WHEN COMPARING THESE SWITCHES TO THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES SIDE BY SIDE. AS MENTIONED ABOVE, GIVEN THE LIMITATIONS OF MY FORCE CURVE MACHINE, I HAVE CHOSEN TO HAND DRAW THE FORCE CURVES FOR THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES IN THE COMPARISONS MADE BELOW.

CHERRY MX ‘NEW NIXIE’

- LOOK, I WAS THERE WHEN I WROTE THE REVIEW FOR THE CHERRY MX ‘NEW NIXIES’ AND I AM ALMOST CERTAIN THAT I DESCRIBED THEM AS A “BIG POINT” IN SWITCH HISTORY. HOWEVER, THE NEARLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE SIZE OF THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES CLEARLY OUTWEIGHS THE METAPHORICAL MIGHT OF THE NEW NIXIES, AND THUS THE KAILH SWITCH IS SUPERIOR.

- IN TERMS OF STEM WOBBLE, THE CHERRY MX ‘NEW NIXIES’ ALSO SURPRISINGLY DON’T STAND A CHANCE NEXT TO THE BIG DARK YELLOWS, EVEN CONSIDERING THE THEIR IMPROVED TOLERANCES.

- COMPARING THE OVERALL VOLUME OF THESE TWO SWITCHES, THE NEW NIXIES ARE EFFECTIVELY THE BEST SILENT LINEARS TO EVER EXIST, WITH THEIR PHYSICAL PRESENCE BEING OBSCURED BY THE BASS WAVES AT BOTTOM OUT OF THE BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES.

NOVELKEYS DREAM CREAM

- THE NOVELKEYS DREAM CREAMS ARE PRETTY ACCURATELY NAMED IN THIS COMPARISON BETWEEN SWITCHES AS ITS ONLY IN YOUR DREAMS THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY THINK THAT THESE ARE BETTER THAN THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES.

- IN ALL SINCERITY, I AM GENUINELY SURPRISED THAT NOVELKEYS HASN’T MADE BIG CREAM SWITCHES YET. CLEARLY THE BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES ARE POPULAR ENOUGH TO REMAIN STOCKED FOR 6 YEARS AND GOING, AND THEY AREN’T EVEN THEIR FLAGSHIP SWITCH ANYMORE.

- IN TERMS OF STEM WOBBLE, LIKE EVERY OTHER SWITCH ON THIS LIST, THE DREAM CREAMS DON’T STAND A CHANCE COMPARED TO THE INCREDIBLY TIGHT TOLERANCES ON THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES.

GATERON OIL KING

- SMOOTH ENOUGH TO SLIDE SEAMLESSLY INTO YOUR NEXT KEYBOARD BUILD, THE GATERON OIL KINGS MAY HAVE THE BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES BEAT IN TERMS OF SHEER PERFORMANCE, BUT WHAT ABOUT IN A STREET FIGHT? MY MONEY IS ON THE BIG SWITCHES...

- WHY AM I EVEN MENTIONING THE STEM WOBBLE AT THIS POINT? THE BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES CLEARLY ARE THE MUCH SUPERIOR OPTION AND ARE MY PERSONAL PREFERRED MOUNTS FOR MY ARTISAN KEYCAPS.

- THE GATERON OIL KINGS ARE ALMOST INDESCRIBABLY SOFT AND AIRY AT BOTTOMING OUT AS COMPARED TO THE BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES, AND ALMOST TO THE POINT THAT THEY CAN HARDLY BE CONSIDERED AS ACTUAL SWITCHES FOR THAT MATTER.

INVOKEYS BLACK SESAME

- I REALLY TRIED TO COME UP WITH A FUNNY COMPARISON NOTE HERE, BUT I AM JUST COMPLETELY OUT OF IDEAS AT THIS POINT.

- THE INVOKEYS BLACK SESAME SWITCHES ARE SMOOTHER THAN THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES OUT OF THE BOX, AND LIKELY DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEY DON’T USE NEARLY ROCK-SOLID VASELINE JELLY AS A LUBRICANT AS WELL.

- IN TERMS OF VOLUME, THE BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES YET AGAIN COMPLETELY DROWN OUT THE BLACK SESAMES IN COMPARISON. WHAT EVEN IS THE POINT OF HAVING A LINEAR SWITCH IF IT CAN’T BE HEARD A MILE AWAY?

HUANO EARTH YELLOW

- WHILE I AM FULLY AWARE THAT THERE ARE DOZENS, IF NOT MILLIONS OF YELLOW-COLORED SWITCHES OUT THERE AS OF THE TIME OF WRITING THIS REVIEW, I THINK ITS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE THAT HUANO WOULD EVEN REMOTELY ATTEMPT TO EMULATE ANY SINGLE PART OF THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES – EVEN IF IT IS ONLY THE COLOR.

- FURTHERMORE, THE FACT THAT HUANO CHOSE TO USE THE NAME ‘EARTH’ FOR THEIR TINY SWITCHES WHEN THE BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES ARE EFFECTIVELY PLANETARY SIZED IN AND OF THEMSELVES IS EVEN FURTHER INSULTING.

- THIS IS THE PART WHERE I ALSO INSULT HUANO BECAUSE I’VE ALREADY KNOCKED OFF ‘EARTH’ AND ‘YELLOW’ FROM THEIR NAME. SO UH, SCREW THEM AND THEIR… NORMAL SIZED AND INOFFENSIVE SWITCHES.

OWLABS NEON

- IS ‘SWK’ EVEN A MANUFACTURER? SERIOUSLY, I’M ASKING FOR A FRIEND BECAUSE I DON’T THINK THAT THEY ARE BUT I CAN’T GET ANY INFORMATION ON THEM WHATSOEVER.

- MUCH LIKE MY ISSUE TAKEN ABOVE WITH THE HUANO EARTH YELLOW SWITCHES, THE NOVELKEYS X KAILH BIG DARK YELLOW SWITCHES ARE ACTUALLY MUCH CLOSER TO OWL SIZED THAN ANY OF THE ‘OWLAB’ SWITCHES, AND THUS IT SHOULD TAKE THE NAME AWAY FROM THEM BY FORCE.

- WHAT EVEN IS AN “OWL LAB”?

SCORES AND STATISTICS

NOTE – THESE SCORES ARE NOT NECESSARILY COMPLETELY INDICATIVE OF THE NUANCED REVIEW ABOVE. IF YOU’VE SKIPPED STRAIGHT TO THIS SECTION, I CAN ONLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU AT LEAST GLANCE AT THE OTHER SECTIONS ABOVE IN ORDER TO GET A STRONGER IDEA OF MY OPINION ABOUT THESE SWITCHES. I’M ALSO GOING TO BE INCREDIBLY TRANSPARENT IN SAYING THAT THE SIZE OF THE SCORING REQUIRED TO ADEQUATELY REVIEW SUCH A BIG SWITCH HAS MADE IT ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO REALLY KNOW WHAT NUMBER IS THERE. IS IT A 2 OR 7? HELL IF I EVEN KNOW AT THIS POINT.